We always get what we need

During one of the satsangs, I sat there pondering over life in general. A young girl came by and asked if she could sit next to me. I nodded lost in my own thoughts.

She decided to introduce herself as Sarita and then asked "Are you finding me to be too weird/scary?" I looked at her and found that her whole body seemed to appear to have burned. I shook my head to say "No." She continued on, "Well, you see I have a skin disease, which has caused me to be like this. I am undergoing a treatment at this time."

On the way to the dining area after the satsang, she continued on with her story. "My father was a drunk and has been clean for the last one year or so. My mother is a laborer - breaks bricks. My twin brother works at a factory and my younger brother is studying IT. My mother earns about 300Rs. per day and my father Rs. 1000 if they have a job that is. And so to make ends meet, mom ends up having to take loans from neighbors."

"Akka,"she continued on, "you see I fell in love with a guy and our parents got us married when I was 17. While I have had this skin disease since I was 4, it increased and spread to my face. This is when my husband decided to leave me to marry someone else. But now I am on the road to recovery with this current treatment. Once I am fine, I will start working again."

We had reached the dining hall and she winded up by saying "I hope akka that I can get married again soon." I nodded and bid adieu with a pranam. What I noticed in this girl was that throughout she was smiling. It reminded me how important it is to smile and be happy in all situations.

As I sat down to have dinner, I found this 18-19 year old kid, being helped to sit on a chair by his father. This kid then looked at me and said something. All I could understand from what he said was "Akka," and so I decided to ignore him. His father rushed back and said, "I am sorry if my son bothered you during the meal." "No problem." I said and continued with my meal. But there was this urge that day to know what was wrong with the kid as he looked perfectly healthy from the outside.

So, after dinner, I went back to the kid and his father and asked. The father told me that his son, Ezhumalai, had met with an accident about 2 years back and since then, every time he stands or tries to move he feels that he will fall. "I have to be around all the time as he does not trust anyone else."

Listening to all this, as I returned home from the satsang, I felt greatful for whatever I have in my life and acknowledged the fact from the satsang that "We always get what we need."

The Young Witch Learnt to Fly

It was time for Anya, the young witch, to learn to fly. Her mother had gifted Anya a broom for her 6th birthday.

As Anya stepped out with the broom, her friend, Mr.Frisky, the cat, said to her "Why don't you try flying Anya? It should be fun." But I am not sure Mr. Frisky. What if I fall?", said Anya.

"Oh, don't be scared Anya, you will be fine.", said Mr. Frisky. But Anya was still not ready. 

After thinking a bit, Mr. Frisky said to Anya, "You know what, let me do some magic on the broom. That way, you won't fall."

"OK Mr. Frisky.", said Anya as she did want to fly. 

"Good, so here goes," said Mr. Frisky keeping his wand on the broom. Then said, "Abracadabra." The magic was done and the broom was ready for Anya to fly.

With complete confidence, Anya sat on the broom and started flying. After a little wibble wobble, Vrooooom, went Anya sitting on the broom. And from the top of her voice, Anya screamed, "Mr. Frisky I can fly. Thank you Mr. Frisky. You are my best friend!"

And then finally, Anya came down. Mr. Frisky smiled and asked her, "Anya, how did you like flying?" "Oh it was amazing Mr. Frisky. You are awesome! Your magic worked and I was able to fly," said Anya.

Smiling, Mr. Frisky said, "Anya, you need to kow something - I did not do any magic. You lacked confidence so I did something to try and get back your confidence.  And see, it worked. You flew just on your own."

"Thank you Mr. Frisky. You are my best friend." said Anya with a big smile.

Scottish Play and My Current Situation

We were all set for the "Scottish Play". Yeah, I was the third witch. I was told that the Scottish Play being Shakespeare might not be something I would be able to pronounce and I gladly agreed since the "goeth, poet, thy, thee" were never my cup of tea!

As we rehearsed, I had few lines and it was easy for me to memorize them. Well, I had one line that was supposed to be powerful "And that shalt be king hereafter"

Well, as we rehearsed, my director, cast would say "You are just not there. What is wrong with you. Where is the power? Why have you calmed down? We need that inner strength that we have seen before"

While I tried, I just couldn't find that inner power. The fire was missing - Having been in the US for almost 2 years, I had figured that letting go and just flowing with whatever happens without being demanding was the best way to be.. or so I thought.

The day before the final performance, we were rehearsing and Macbeth was annoyed... he said "We all may say it right, but she is going to let us all down." The others acknowledged and were rehearsing harder. I had decided to turn myself off and decided that more than the play, it was fun to play with this 10 year old. The cast just gave me "the look."

It was time for the show. The first scene was done. It was now time for the witches to curse/bless the king... The first witch blessed them and passed the sword to the second one and then it was my turn. As soon as I got the sword, I said my line. I saw Macbeth fall and the other two witches astounded. We had completed the scene and backstage... they all go "What got into you!!! Where did all that power come from? How did that transformation happen?" Our director/teacher came up to me to say "I don't know what to say. That roar... it seemed almost like a lioness has decided to come out of her den" One person from the audience walked up to me to say "What a voice you have!" Macbeth said "I was really scared you know. You were just awesome!!"

So what was it, I know not - Was it the sword, was it their ridicule? I now need to find that same power back at work. I can't be subdued and be the cribber. I need to carve my path, with or without the sword and the ridicule.

When one door closes...

When one door closes another opens, but you keep looking at the closed door for so long...

Yep, this happened to me yesterday. I had to get into a tram and well what might you know. It was pretty full. I was trying to request a lady to move the pram a bit so I could move in so that the doors would close. Little did I notice that the door in the front was open. I stepped out to see this door close. And by the time I could get to the other door, it had closed too - ended up walking 3 stops!

So much for the meaning of that saying eh!

Me and Religions

When I was about 14, I landed up in this big argument with one of the swamis who had come home to perform a puja. Looking at that, dad asked me to take a tour of all the religious places around Delhi, read up about religions, and pick the religion that I wanted to. I went to the mosque, church, and the temple. For a while, I wanted to be a Christian - reason was that I found Christians to be very "modern". Little did I know that they too had their own set of conservative people. To explore the option further, I went down to my school friend's place. What I found there was that while they were open-minded in some aspects, they had their own set of beliefs, which limited them. At that point, I decided to stick to being what I was, as all religions have mostly common values, just customized based on time and place requirements.

At the age of 30, when I met my cousin and his wife, both now Christian, they both started telling me the plus points of becoming a Christian. Little did they know that I had already decided on the pros and cons of any religion for that matter and had my own set of beliefs, something that works for me! My cousin told me how his father had not given him the freedom to choose his religion and how he had to go from one place to the other in search of peace and where he found peace was at this church. I told him while his father had not given him the option, my dad had and I had made my choice. While I don't believe in any religion in particular, I do believe that there is a God and all these religions are just ways to remember God!

Living in the Moment

We keep hearing "Live in the moment". But how many of us truly do live in the moment? We are either planning our future or thinking about our past successes or failures.

I met Shriyank in November 2000. It was one of those large gatherings where I knew no one! I was standing in one corner, when Shriyank came in on a bed with all the possible equipment for breathing, etc. with his sister and mother. He looked at me and there was a smile in his eyes... a very naughty smile. I instantly wanted to know this person. I approached them and introduced myself to figure that he could not speak. He just acknowledged with his eyes. His sister smiled (a sad smile) and said "He can't speak you know. He used to be a fun-loving person and now look at him. As I glanced, he was again looking at me as it to say "Don't pity me. I am happy the way I am." He was a true example of living in the moment!

It does not mean that you are always happy about everything - what it means is that you live the present moment to the fullest.